THIS IS MY NOW

There was a time I packed my dreams away. Living in a shell, hiding from myself. There was a time when I was so afraid. I thought I'd reached the end, But baby that was then I am made of more than my yesterdays. This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment. As I look around I can't believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt That was then, this is my now. I have to decide, Was I gonna to play it safe. Or look somewhere deep in side, Try to turn the tide, And find the strength to take that step of faith. This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment. As I look around I can't believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt That was then, this is my now. And I have the courage like never before, yeah. I've settled for less now I'm ready for more, Ready for more. This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment. As I look around I can't believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt That was then, this is my now. I'm living in the moment I look around I can't believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt That was then, this is my now. This is my now.

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

IS THERE FIGHT LEFT IN ME TO FIGHT FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS? I REALLY DON'T KNOW. I FEEL WORN OUT, RUN LOW AND JUST DEFEATED RIGHT NOW. HOW AM I TO BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE IF I AM NOT HAPPY MYSELF. TOO MAY ALMOST, TOO MANY LOVES LOST, TOO MANY TEARS AND SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T KNOW IF THE FIGHT IS WORTH IT. MY HEART IS IN PAIN AND I'M TIRED. MY EYES BURN FROM ALL THE TEARS SHED. I THINK I NEED A GETAWAY FROM IT ALL AND RE EVALUATE ME AND WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER....

LIFE... I WONDER, WILL IT TAKE ME UNDER?

THIS THING CALLED LIFE.... BOY IS IT A ROLLER COASTER RIDE. THERE ARE HIGHS AND LOWS AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. AS OLD AS I AM (YES I'M OLD ..I GUESS..LOL) I DON'T THINK I HAVE YET TO FIGURE IT OUT. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE THAT I WISH I HAD A BETTER HANDLE ON AND A BETTER UNDERSTANDING FOR. THE HEART OF THE MATTER IS... MY HEART. TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE, TH ATS THE ULTIMATE QUESTION. IT IS A FEAT NOT KNOW MY MANY BUT BRAVED BY FEW. SO WHAT DO YOU DO, BRAVE IT ALL OR LIVE ALONE IN SAFETY?

LOVED SEX IN THE CITY

IN A TALE OF ME, I WENT TO SEE SEX AND THE CITY ON SATURDAY WITH THE GIRLS AND IT WAS GREAT. I LOVE THE IDEA OF LADIES WHO WORK HARD AND PLAY HARD TOO. HOW MUCH FUN IT WOULD BE TO LIVE IN A CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, SHOP FOR THE LATEST FASHIONS AND LOVE EVERYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY. SOMETIMES I DREAM ABOUT LIVING A LAVISH LIFE OF MONEY, CELEBRITY AND GLAMOUR..... WELL A GIRL CAN DREAM RIGHT??

:-)

SATURDAY NIGHT

ITS SATURDAY NIGHT AND I AND I AM SITTING HOME, ALONE AS USUAL. THE SAD PART IS THAT I BELIEVE THAT THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE. THE HOPE THAT I USUALLY HAVE IS NEXT TO NONE RIGHT NOW AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY. IS IT BECAUSE THE IDEA OF LOVE IS HARSH AND CRUEL TO ME RIGHT NOW OR IS IT FEAR OF HAVING THE FEELING OF LOVE AND BEING HURT. WHAT CAN YOU DO? IS THERE ROOM FOR UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE? IS THERE A CHANCE FOR ME?

ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF ME

LEMONS AND SUGAR

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirrorwhere one could read it every day.You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received.Forget about the rude remarks.

VENTILATOR

MY NEW NAME FOR NOW IS VENTILATOR... TOO MANY BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO FRIENDS AND I HAVE BECOME THE CATCH ALL OF THE PROBLEMS. DONT GET ME WRONG, I LIKE TO BE HELPFUL AND THERE FOR THEM, I JUST FEEL LIKE I COULD DO MORE AND I CANT RIGHT NOW. DEATH, DIVORCE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS,UNDERSTANDING AND JUST BEING THEMSELVES IS HARD SOMETIMES AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT ACCEPT IT AND GROW FROM IT. YOU TRY AND MAKE LIFE WORTH IT IN THE END, ITS TOUGH AND I FEEL FOR MY FRIENDS AND JUST WISH I COULD DO MORE.